"If you love someone set them free, if they come back to you they are yours, but if they don’t, they never were."
That is how the old saying goes, but what does it really mean? How do we even do that? Who is letting go of what and how?
A default position seems to suggest that one person loves someone, and the other has some need for space, or at the least does not seem to have the space for the love. Either way, the sending and receive of love is not working, and distance is the prescribed remedy to allow for some clarity on the state of things.
In other words, if one were in love with another, but that love for some reason was not available in a way that was felt as the one would like, then the one should allow the other to go on their own way and then just wait to see what happens.
That does not sound like a good plan at all. For starters, what happens if they just get hit by a bus and you never find out? On top of that, you even missed the funeral! Of course, you may not even know about the funeral at all.
That went well.
On a more serious note, the one is giving away their power to the other if they just simply walk away under the conditions set forth above.
A very flawed plan indeed.
Granted, the scenario above is just one to consider, but let’s flip that around to something a little more powerful.
What if by set it free we mean release the love as in trying to live without it by choice. That certainly puts the power in the one’s hands.
Still, how would that be accomplished?
While it might seem impossible, if one were to successfully replace the space needed to be filled by that love with something else, say a combination of new things, self-love, and other such components, then when that love came back, the love that was released, from one’s mind, would it be able to have a spot to come back to it all?
In other words, instead of being at the power of that process in allowing somebody else to arrive at the determination of ones condition in life, what if ownership of the love, or our life to add purpose to this, remains completely at the discretion of the one who holds it, and so it can be released at will, or at least its space freed up to be filled in other ways.
This also creates the space of separation mentioned in the original saying.
If all that is so, the would the other love return after the period of time? Perhaps, but only if the one chooses it, because choosing a life path at the dictation of another is not aligned with who you are in the first place, ever.
Changes the dynamic a little bit doesn’t it? Now, is it even possible for the love to come back if you hold it, yet release the love associated with the other to be filled in other ways.
Perhaps try that on and see before saying it does not fit.
Of course, this might cause a stir for some to read because of a belief already held that this is not their power in the first place, which causes a sense of fear for some at stepping into that much personal power.
This part applies to everyone and not just the one, so for us, this is important, and it is something that you can learn to do if you are not already.
This alternate scenario, and who knows, perhaps this is how the first person who said this meant it all along, also adds a whole new spin on “if you love something set it free if it comes back to you it is, if it does not it never was.”
You can treat life like that too, but back to my other love, love.
You are allowing the object of love, or lack thereof, to leave you, you are releasing your love to be filled in another way to honestly assess what will happen. That is scary territory, but a place often visited by those who choose to adopt some basic steps in attaining that mindset.
How do you know you’re in love in the first place? Certainly it’s hard if not impossible to convince your heart anything involving love, but it’s our behaviors that we can change, and if we behave in different ways we may be able to occupy our mind in ways that might not be easy, but teach us a lot about who we are and how we truly feel, and that can really change our behavior.
Because you body does not lie, your mind does. How do you feel? What else makes you feel good. Get more of that. Go to that which nourishes you.