There is no wrong way when you approach life as a manageable set of circumstances surrounding who it is you truly are. If you are honest with yourself, and really believe in yourself, then there is no one to debate this with you, but it is just you.
If you can to that place, let’s say a circle that encompasses all that is you and nothing else. The shape does not matter, use whatever metaphor suits you, but it is just you. Once there, you can become the person you want to be, or are, and then look at those circumstances for what they are and tend to them as needed to clear your path to keep you at that place you want to be, or are if you are totally on board already. By totally on board, I mean believing in yourself fully.
Depending on how much you put into it and how much you follow through with the choices you have made or augmented them as circumstances change, it becomes easier and easier to sink back into yourself in a good way and be just you.
Rinse and repeat and you have a simple outlook on clearing out the debris between you and the real you in a world created by you.
This is often the position in some form or another taken from the outset of my work at Recovery Cafe, and certainly more often in work outside the clinical environment of Wind and Raven, which is the best of both worlds.