What we do is always on us. There is no way around it, but oftentimes the responsibility is shifted in a sense to something or someone else as to who is actively choosing the next step.
Unless someone somehow has gotten into your physical body, and we will leave mind issues stemming from the paranormal out of this and stay in the day-to-day, then it is the individual who lifts that foot, raises that hand, makes that decision, regardless of why to act.
Where that choice leads is 100% the result of the individual’s actions.
This morning, I opened my back door like I do every morning to greet the fresh air. It was raining. I stepped outside because I can, and I like to do that regardless of how it feels. To me, it does not matter if it is cold, wet, hot, or even if there are mosquitoes, I go.
It is there for me, I like being outside, so to me it does not matter what else might be going on because I am aligned with what I like to do, how I want to live, who I am.
I kicked over the little grill I have that I use as a quasi-fire pit. I don’t use it to cook anything, but it nourishes me in other ways, and at that moment my shin and it was at odds with each other.
Because of my choice not to turn on the light, or perhaps because I did not recall that last evening before I went to bed I had been sitting here and the pit was still out, I hurt my shin. (not bad, just a scrape, settle down everyone, no need for concern, I got this, but TY)
The reason I point this out is, it is easy to say, “I kicked the pit over and hurt my shin because it was dark.”
That is an explanation, yes, but it is also easy for one to build upon any already fragile insecurities and feel as if the dark caused this and not the individual.
Even if this, not a conscious decision, it is one way to look at that, and how it translates in your subconscious, that other 90% of you mind it total silence, is perhaps another thing.
Remember all the stuff we dig deep to clear any blocks and talk like that? Well, these kinds of thoughts are the condiments that make the victim sandwich oh so appetizing. It’s easy.
The darkness did nothing, and it hides nothing, it is simply the absence of light. It does not even have an opinion of you to be wanting to somehow keep you from seeing anyway.
Seeing, or lack thereof is what is lacking here. In the way I am laying out, it blinds the individual from a larger assessment of their life and to assign responsibility to others for the results of their own choices.
When one can develop awareness around simple little things like that, a bigger picture of what is actually being said, they create their own reality.
Creating your own reality is great as long as it is sustained and not some form of bypassing.
I did that, created my own reality, in my illness and largely remain there today. Nothing wrong was ever going to happen nobody on the inside, the absolute inside, even has a voice in any choices I make. I stuck to that, took ownership of my every move, including those of professionals, and was successful.
But the operative word there is it was my “own reality” and I indeed owned every step, good or bad. The illness was not going to kill me, I was going to kill myself if I did not dedicate myself to myself and chart this course. Then sail to that shore.
To be sure, the terminal illnesses were very real, and they could lead to the end of life, but in my reality that was fine too. It was me I was looking out for, and I would even get past that. I would figure that out when I got there. On my terms.
This might sound trite, but it works. I have lived it and seen it first hand. It fills the spaces between what the problems are that people talk about when they come to see me.
Sometimes it is drugs and alcohol since that is where I am certified, but mostly it is about how to deal with their partner or boss, or finding either of those or how do they open to abundance available both inside and outside of themselves if they just give themselves a chance.
Stop waiting for “it” to fix itself. So it is dark, gotcha, gets like that every day, and has for a while, so?
“I got fired because my boss was a jerk,” is said. Regardless of the boss, there was probably a way to make the boss happy. If so, if that was okay then why didn’t you choose to do it? If it was not okay, then why are you still there?
“I need money.”
A common problem, and its the result of the world we live in. We created that too, this system, the credit cards, all of it. And, you chose to get into that.
I can not solve your money problems or help you with the disposition of your boss. I can, however, help in the way you look at these things.
What happens is that alternative views of things such as this, a little one that can lead to huge results, allow us to peer briefly into that space between the linear points of facts. Between always 1+1=2.
“What if we consider it like this for a moment? What does that bring up? How does that feel? Does that feel like it? Yeah? Great. Now you see it, remember that, but don’t get too locked into any one way of looking at this,” is how those conversations sound oftentimes.
It is not always that simple, and in fact, it rarely is. But in that quantum space, the non-linear field, one starts to see a difference in the way the facts line up as the grease between the gears, the general shift in self-awareness and disposition towards the world, eases things to a much more manageable you.
The results then change. Sometimes beyond any else’s expectations.
I wrote recently about a woman who has been coming to me for about two years. She is “woke as fuck” now and is great. A year ago, at this time, it could be said that the whole world was out to get her, but, in the end, and through a dark night of the soul, she came through like a champion. Queue Freddie Mercury.
It was no single thing she or I ever said over these many months. “Half the time I don’t know what he is talking about,” said one client I worked with to a local social worker, “but it all makes perfect sense.”
When I saw that on a review of myself at a private practice that I had been a volunteer at as a then recovery coach facilitating groups and seeing individuals. I understood that statement and knew exactly the space he was referring to. He heard it, in between the facts of his case and the troubles he was in.
He also went on to be the first person to text message in the hospital on the morning of my second life. “Hey, I am doing great, and I still have that Celtic necklace you gave me hanging on my rear-view mirror. Signed, four years sober.”
That young man was facing a lot. The specter of prison, there had been death close and a pile of other poor choices. All were sorted out and a year later he was off to start his life.
My “WAF” person, the woman I still see regularly, thought that way once, the part about not understanding me, and probably still does to some degree. But it does not matter, because she got it, and it was hers all along. She just did not know where to find it.
It really found here though, she just found a way to open to her own self-control. You can not force anything to change, you can only change yourself and your own power.
Cultivate that and take responsibility. It is the best thing for you despite the fact at times it is easy to blame the stoplight for making you late to work.
Believe it or not, when people ask me how I work with people on changing their behaviors, I tell them it is not about that at all. Behaviors are the end result of a thought process that begins in a distant place, and along the way there are barriers and blocks that tilt the wheel off the road.
The person crashes into their own actions. Don’t change the actions, they will take care of themselves. Get in front of the action and change the way you engage the world.
I asked the question, “What is holding you back”, yesterday. What I have said above is not specific to any one reply, but in the many there was some of this, and that is okay. It is how we roll, it is how we grew up, and it is, for lack of a better term, “The American Way.”
We are always told that others are the problems in virtually everything, and even if you are not from the US, chances are your leaders want you afraid of things too. That keeps them in power.
What things? Everything, from the guy next door who has different skin, to the country over there with a different religion, to the skinny/fat/stupid kid at school. It is in us, or at least some of it is.
Viewing the complexities of your life through more than your own lenses is a great way to gain perspective on where you really are.
Do not settle, but do not keep yourself from getting whatever it is you desire. Anything. It does not matter what you look like, how old you are, any of that. It is all about you and what you choose to value.
Romantic love, health, and money.
Talk about the “yes please, more of that” crowd, those are the big three. Each can be reached, most achieve all three, though perhaps not all at the same time. You have to love yourself, take care of your mind and body, and make choices that lead to the fiscal level you desire.
But you have to work for it, nothing is given to you and nobody is coming to save you. You save yourself. Do the things in the paragraph above, and then let the rest of that just happen? It may or may not, but it is not because of anyone else, or even if it simply never appears.
Remember, it might not. But you still need to choose to go towards it just in case.
This is an emotional time of year, and I know for myself this season is especially important because a year ago at this time I was preparing for what was probably my last full year. That’s what the diagnosis still read.
But, the choices I made and staying in that created reality of only life, that is all behind me now. Still, going home for the holidays will be very different this year.
If you run into a rough patch as we enter into winter in just a few days, feel free to reach out to me if you feel you would like to talk. I have not directly said much about my virtual practice other than announcing two groups for January, but, but working with individuals is a much more intimate setting in which I create a safe container for you to be free.
In that, you open up to reveal what is not only going on now, but it is there that we hear the first whispers from below. The voice inside the voice in one’s head. Ever so slightly, the shift begins. Choices can be made with more intention. Choices that are aligned with who you are and are becoming.
Rising with you to meet every challenge knowing you are there for yourself no matter what.
It does not matter who or where you are either. Currently, the majority of my clients are not even in the United States. So, reach out and touch me, being virtual, my practice is via the iPhone and or Zoom.
They come from different paths to support each other and talk about the process of change. They share experiences they have had to create tools for success today and for down the road.
A shared path; the essence of peer-support recovery in the realm of healing. Everyone’s life and experiences are their own, but, by walking side-by-side, there is strength in numbers.
You can do that too.
Beginning the third week in January, I will be combining the areas in which I work to provide a space in which anyone seeking a significant shift in their life can enable the tools to do so. Details below ....
In this shared awareness, while paying attention to what is going on in life, conscious decisions can be made by individuals with which to form our intention for the next step.
Check the Pathfinder page on this website for more.